Milks Wars: Episodes 1/9-4/9
by Illieyasha
Summary: A fun-filled, action--packed adventure about an OWL and her RGLT...


A Long Time Ago, in a Milk Factory not SO far Away... 

MILK WARS: EPISODE 0/9 Return of the Mouse 

Turmoil has engulfed the Rocky Compartment, a small civilization is under arest, and worst of all, the MOUSE has returned. 

It was a warm sunday evening on the planet of ANTOINE, and laying deep in the vast oceans was a Milk Factory. This MF was run by Master YoYo herself, a master in the art of the Milky side of the force. "HURRY UP YOU COWS YOU!" You could hear her scream all the time... 

"Something must be done!" Cried Yodie, "She's gone too far this time!" The Milky Council (Made up of Master Yodie, Master Crysta, Master Hamill, and Master OWL) was having a meeting. Master YoYo was WAY out of control, that morning she had poured milk in her hair thinking it was shampoo. "What can we do? Strip her of her title as master? It's against the code!" Crysta complained. Then, OWL had an idea. Everyone noticed the smart mouth little smirk on her face as she revealed her plan. 

"What are you gonna do now?" Complained Hamill. "Yeah, Yeah, what are you gonna do now?" Echoed Crysta in that annoying little parrot voice she has. "Well, I was thinking that maybe we could get a big rat to sneak into her R2-M2 droid and make is project a hologram saying that the rat will eat her alive." OWL planned deviously. "GOOD IDEA!" Yodie started, "Only one problem, we don't have a big rat..." "But we DO have a big mouse..." Hamill said mischeiviously.

The next day they had Mickey Mouse go and implant the message. When YoYo saw it, she freaked, but wouldn't leave her title. So the plan had failed. 

There was another meeting, this time the mouse came. "What if we stole all the cows from the MF and replaced them with robots, that would sure annoy her." said Mouse. "Nah, to hard, say, hows 'bout we send Tiggy-Wan over there and he can try and figure out where the Milky base is." Attempted Hamill. Everyone starred at her. 

"Umm, excuse me, but first of all, WHY MY HORSE? And second, WE'RE NOT LOOKING FOR THE MILKY BASE! WE'RE @ THE MILKY BASE ALREADY! AND, REMEMBER, I STARTED THE MILKY BASE!" Shouted OWL.

"Let's just go with Mickey's idea" Commented Crysta. Everyone agreed. 

So they followed through with Mickey's plan, but that too failed, because YoYo just went and ordered a new shippment of cows. 

Another meeting and so on. "Hey, hows about we make a spinach missle and blow it up @ the MF!" said Yodie. "GREAT IDEA!" Commented Hamill. 

The next day, OWL was talking to her Padawan NJOTB, and was telling him ALL about the plan. But little did she know that YoYo was listening in. OH NO! Thought YoYo, SPINACH BOMB?!?! So she ran away in terror. All the masters and paddys celebrated and threw partys. "MICKEY MOUSE BOY TOY FOREVER!" Shouted Mickey. "Umm, no, try MONKEY BUTT GOY TOY NEVER AGAIN1" Hamill screamed!

Not so long a go, in a galaxy not TOO far away.... MILK WARS Episode 999 1/9 The Phantom Yo-Gurt 

Yo-Gurt had run away from her Milk Factory once hearing about the Spinach bomb. Now, she wanted to get even with the Milky Council. She had gathered together some people and cows to form a sort of a Milky Empire. This "Council" Consisted of: Padme #2, Yo-Gurt, Darth Evolence, and Padme #1. 

However, when the REAL council heard of this, they freaked. "What are we gonna do? This ISN'T good!" Whined OWL. "We must think of SOMETHING!" Cried Hamill. "WAIT I GOT IT! Wait, maybe not, let's see, Hmm..." Yodie pondered. "Don't strain yourself" OWL said sarcastically. "Well I don't see YOU trying o think of something!" Yodie screamed. OWL stood up. "You wanna make something of it?" OWL growled. "YEAH!" Shrieked Yodie. "YEAH!" Shrieked OWL. "HOLD IT!" Cried Crysta, "Calm down! That's just what they want, for US to fall apart!" Yodie and OWL nodded and sat back down. "Well, we still have to figure something." OWL sighed. Just then, the Mouse entered. "I've got it! Let's get all the Milky Masters together and form an Alliance!" MM said. "Good Idea!" Agreed Crysta, Hamill, and OWL. "NO!" Yodie cried! "Why not?" Challenged OWL! "Because IT came up with it!" Yodie said shrillly "Oh please! Come on! Why don't we just say that I said it then, ok?" Hamill comprimised. "Ok." Yodie said hesitantly. And it was settled. 

Meanwhile, at the Empire meeting... "How can we destroy them?" Padme #1 thought aloud. "OH OH I'VE GOT IT!" Cried YoYo, "We can shove them in a blender and put the blender on liquify!" Everyone starred at her funny. "Umm, no!" Evolence said. "Oh! Why don't we clone some Milkyorians, and use them for an army type thingy." "Yeah!" Everyone said indignently. (what does that word mean anyways?) 

It was time to form the Milkylliance. The people on the Milkylliance were: MrsHamill, Yodie, OWL, Crysta, MM, Silly Jinn, Opata, KatyWan Kenobi, Cal Gon D'Jinn, Mace, Darth Zulan, Darth Pop Musi, Jedi7, TiggyWan, Antoine, Aine Mara, Porkins. The members of the Milky Empire were: YoYo, Padme #1, Padme #2, Darth Evolence, Dagobah, Dot, SLI, Little Rancer and Torva. Then, it was time for battle... 

Not so long ago in a galaxy not TOO far away... MILK WARS Episode 999 2/9 The OWL strikes back 

So anyways, where was I? Oh yeah: They were about to fight. The two ferocous groups made their way to the milky moon of Nifalofigust's harbor on the nast coast. The Milky empire lead by YoYo, and the Milkylliance lead by OWL. OWL and YoYo stood face to face, OWL had a smart mouth little smirk on her face, while YoYo had a confused look on hers. (what else is new) Then, the two teams lined up. As Yodie glared across at her former padawan, Padme #1, she growled "This is my milk, and I will not see it fall to a bunch of nerd-herders like you!" Hamill looked at Dag she shook her head and said, "I should have been a better master." "It wasn't your fault!" Dag comforted her. "Thank you" She replied sniffling. Dag put an arm around her to comfort her, "there, there" "HEY! Hamill, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?!" OWL cried in shock, as Hamill and Dag strolled off the battle field, arm in arm. "DAG! YOUR LETTING YOUR TEAM DOWN!" Yelled YoYo, but it was no use, they were both gone. OWL held up her preztal stick and the fight was on. OWL hit YoYo over the head with a pretzal stick, and YoYo blacked out. Crysta then started telling some her her stupid jokes to Darth Evolance, and Darth Evolence died of boardom. Katy Wan started showing her dead hamster, Qui Gon, to Padme #2, and Padme #2 fainted. Yodie then hit Mickey over the head with a chocolate bomb. "YODIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HE'S ON OUR SIDE!" OWL shrieked. "But he came after me with a blade of grass." Yodie defended herself. OWL gave her an evil look, and Yodie added "it was really sharp..." 

Not so long ago in a galaxy not TOO far away... Milk Wars Episode 999 3/9 A New Yodie 

So anyways, The Milkylliance is winning about 999 million to 0, k? Well, anyway, Callie gets a hold of her former master, Yodie. See, Yodie was busy hitting Mickey with a sledge hammer, when Callie came up from behind and screamed "I was but a learner when I left you, but now, I AM A MILK CARTON!" "Oh please, you aren't even close you seahawk you! You are no longer a learner, and will NEVER be a Milk Carton, well, maybe, but only one fill with Orange Juice!" Yodie retorted. Then, out of nowhere (well, maybe it wasn't, but with Yodie's reflexes it was) Callie pulled out a peice of paper from behind her, and shoved it down Yodie's throat latch. Yodie fainted, and Callie took her away. Meanwhile, YoYo and OWL were busy discussing Tiggy-Wan and Porkins when they realized that they were 'sposed to be fighting. So, OWL takes a leaf off of a far off tree, and so had YoYo. They were in the middle of a leaf battle, when Katy came over with the news. "News from the Milkyland, Mam" She told OWL abruptly and out of breathly. "What is it?" OWL cried horribly. She knew that it was very hard for Katy to get this upset. "It's Yodie, she's been, been... OH! I JUST CAN'T SAY IT!" She whimpered with her head down. Just then, J-007 came over to YoYo. "GREAT NEWS! Yodie's been captured." J-007 said rather loudly. OWL gasped. "WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED EARLIER?!!?!??!" She screamed at Katy. "I am sorry, I just found out." Katy sighed. "Yes, well something must be done!" OWL said calmly as Mickey came over, his head bruised and battered, part of his skull showing. His eyes were all blacked, he walked as though he was one dimensional. "I say we feed her to the Empire and leave her there, I mean, LOOK AT WHAT SHE DID TO ME!" Mickey cried. "Why are you working for THEM, when you could US." Interupted YoYo. "Why would he want to work for YOU?" Countered OWL. "Because, he knows that you guys are no fair, and that you mistreat your workers. Where as, we don't, we just teach people of the TRUE nature of the Milk." YoYo smirked. OWL turned to Mickey with a sad face and sighed. "As always, you know you are welcome to leave at anytime, and you know as well as I do, that she is wrong. I am sorry about Yodie, but she can't help it, you know she was put in the microwave as a young child by Hamill." OWL was almost in tears, almost. "Ok, well, in that case, I choose to go with YoYo" The big rat said quickly. "FINE! GO THEN YOU BIG OLD RAT! WE DON'T NEED YOU!" OWL whined. 

Callie had taken Yodie to a mind control place, and they had just gotten inside when Yodie awoke. "Padawan, you know you don't want to hurt me." Yodie tried to save herself from the tretury of the Sour side of the Milk. Callie just sighed. "I am sorry master, err, Yodie, but I must, it is in my rule book" Yodie just nodded her head. She waited patiently as Callie took her into a dark room with a gleaming green light in the shape of a dictionary. It was a MIND CONTROL MACHINE! Yodie almost panicked,but restrained herself. As Callie forced her into the box, OWL and Antione and Hamill showed up, Milk Sabres in hand. "We have come to save oour not so loyal companion, so hand her over!" Growled Hamill. "Of course." Callie lied. And with that she shut the dorr and quickly flicked the switch. "NO!" Antione cried as he ran over to free Yodie of the dreadful machine. But it was to late, Yodie was brain washed in to the Sour side of the Milk. OWL and Hamill hugged eachother as they sobbed at their loss. Shortly after, Callie joined in. "WHAT HAVE I DONE?! SHE WAS THE ONLY SEEHAWK TYPE FIGURE I HAD!" And cried harder than everyone, when YoYo entered the room. 

Not so long ago, in a galaxy not TOO far away... Milk Wars Episode 999 4/9 The Hamill Fights Back 

So, like, Yodie is in the Midnd Changer when YoYo comes, OWL and Hamill and Callie are REALLY upset. "CALLIE! What are you doing?" Cried YoYo in horror. Callie whiped a tear from her cheak. "I'm now part of the Milkylliance, I betraed my master as well as myself, but now I can change that."{ Callie replied half- heartedly. "Fine, go ahead and betray ME! That's what your best at!" YoYo snapped. Just then, the Mind Control door opened, and out stepped Yodie. "Ah, at last, how are you my padawan" YoYo spoke evily. OWL tried to lunge herself at YoYo in a fit of rage, but Hamill held her back. OWL broke free. With her milk carton, she lunged herself at YoYo and jumped on her back, when Yodie came over and tore OWL off of YoYo and revealed her own Milk Carton. "What are you doing?" OWL whisperred to Yodie. "Doing what I should have done a while ago" Yodie countered. "You don't mean that" OWL whisperred to Yodie. Yodie looked at YoYo. "Yes, I'm afraid I do. Now, prepare to meet you milk." She responded to OWL. Yodie unleashed her milk carton, OWL did the same. Yodie did a double axle with the carton spraying milk all over OWL. OWL did a backflip landing on YoYo's shoulders, and as Yodie came up towards her, OWL hit her with the carton, making Yodie stumble backwards. OWL did another backflip, just clearing Hamill and Callie's heads. When YoYo took out HER milk carton, instantatiosly, Hamill did the same. Now it was a double battle, 2 on 2, Callie didn't know what to do. She stood there like a statue, STILL not knowing what to do. Now, this wasn't very smart considering where she was. Then, Silky entered. "CALLIE! DO SOMETHING! OUR MASTER IS IN DANGER!" Silky shrieked. Callie trembled, Silky poked her, still nothing. Silky went over and tried to help YoYo. "Is THIS your idea of defeat?" Hamill glarred at YoYo, "You can not win by cheating, only lose." And with that, YoYo took one sharp blow to the head, and she fell over. Only it wasn't Hamill or OWL, it was CALLIE! "You are so punny, you can't even hold ME off." Joked OWL. It was evident that Yodie was losing to OWL's superior strength and stability. "That is because I do not wish to try." Yodie growled. "Yeah, right." OWL scoffed. Yodie Roared and charged for OWL, but OWL quickly sumersaulted to escape the blow. "You can not defeat me!" Cried OWL. Suddenly, a voice came into OWL's head, IT IS NOT WISE TO BE COCKY, SOMETIMES IT IS BETTER TO KEEP QUIET. "You obviously don't know me." OWL responded to the voice. Yodie starred at her. "Didn't you hear it too?" Asked OWL. "Hear WHAT?" Replied Yodie, as they continued their battle. "Oh nothing." OWL sighed. Meanwhile, Hamill was busy fighting off Silky for the chance to claim YoYo's body as her throw rug. But that isn't that intresting, a little bickering here, a little threating there, a little whining everywhere. So, OWL knocks Yodie out cold, and goes and fights off Silky for Hamill because Hamill is too old and weak. Then, OWL and Hamill take their nice new throw rug back to Hamill's place, while the war is still going on. OWL and Hamill have a nice b-b-que with all veggie stuff, no meat,and a bunch of Milkylliance guests, when YoYo awakens as Tiggy-Wan it stepping on her. To Be Continued.... 


End file.
